Even I have grown weary of my begging/ crowdfunding. I feel like I’m beating a dead horse or at least a horse no one wants. I really need to focus on the marketing of a crowdfunding campaign. Maybe a silly video would be better for sharing. I will keep trying sooner or later something will hit. Keep trying just keep trying. What is the definition of insane again? Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. Oh, then I am insane. That’s what I keep doing. The truth I think that’s what most dreamers do. That is why a overnight success takes years. Lots of years sometimes. I am going to lay on my bed for awhile staring at the ceiling.
Even when you are in a pit one can still dream. Hitting some rough times right now. A friend from Los Angeles passed away the other day. He was only 42. He was incredibly sweet guy. When he came over to our apartment building to visit his girl friend my kids would beg to play with him. He was someone who I could trust with my kids. He didn’t;t tell anyone he was sick. It has me spinning. Then other friends of mine baby is in the hospital. It can’t eat. They have her on an IV. So scary. I’m praying for them. I hate seeing children sick. My problems right now seem so small.
I have thought about selling my car and moving back to California. I know the kids need to finish school. We a half way through the school year. It will be over before I know it. I have a wife that loves me. My kids love me. We are all in good health. I just need to make a few bucks. I have the important things. I keep dreaming. I know that sounds stupid. But dreams have taken care of me for 19 years. Dreams and love can make so many things happen. One foot in front of another. Finish those projects. Time to make some money.
I was so bummed out today my daughter drew this picture of a monkey painting a heart. Enjoy.
Let’s spend the day chasing smiles, and giggles and sunshine.
Grateful for a day with the kids. It looks like I may take a job out of town. I would will be gone from my family during the week. I would come on the weekends. I need the work. The bills are stacking up. I was hoping my gofundme campaign would bring in a little more money. When your back is against the wall you realize what is important. I have to take care of my family first. It will put some miles on my car. I pray it holds up. I will need to keep a laser focus during this time if I want to keep doing this blog. It will also slow down my plan of getting other projects done.
I was doing well but I hit a wall in my life. 2017 has to get better. I will try a few things during the week to see if I can make something happen local. But that has a very slim chance. I did have some creative break throughs today. So I am excited about stuff I will do in the future. After I do this job I would have leeway with my time. Which is also nice. My palm trees are looking good. If painting palm trees was a job I think I could make a living doing it. I am still learning to draw people. Especially hard for me is drawing people with movement. After looking at the picture I drew I think the guys neck is to long. I keep trying to get better. I will practice more rough sketching. I would like to try rough sketching people in public. It would push my to get better at drawing movement.
I did buy a nice new book on the subject. Sketching People by Lynne Chapman. I can’t wait to dig into it. Doing art has been an oasis for me this last couple of years. Every day there’s challenges how I overcome them is the important part. I can be angry or I can learn to look for a blessing. A lot of time a trail in my life blessed me down the road. I need to grab some dinner. Please consider giving to my ground me campaign.
We are here to love & dance & dance & dance & dance & love let’s not forget love ok back to dancing.
one of the few times I changed it after posting the drawing on instagram. The ok. back to dancing wasn’t there when I posted it on instagram. AS I was getting ready for bed it came to me. I don’t know what I am going to do tomorrow. My life is a mess right now. I need to bring money in. My gofundme campaign isn’t getting any more pledges. I would love to run an ad but money is tight right now. I may start driving Uber tomorrow. I really have to get my act together. I have a lot of great ideas yet I waste my time on nonsense. The story of my life. I need a good nights sleep. Then I can make a decision in the morning. Here’s hoping I will get a good night sleep. It’s always a roulette wheel. I would love to be able to go to bed every night and get a solid eight hours. I would feel like Superman. Keep loving one another.
Day after day we should love each other. Instead we have gotten to this point were we want to be right more than we want to be loving. If we loved one another we would have to take some time to listen to the other person. To feel their pain. We would try to help that pain go away. Instead we can be right. We don’t have to listen because we are right. What can anyone offer if I am right? A lot. We can’t be right 100 percent of the time.
I once took the subway downtown to a art show. When I went to go home the machines wouldn’t take my card. I kept trying. In the end I went through the turnstiles. I needed to get home to watch my 4 kids so my wife could go to work. If she got fired from that job we couldn’t afford to live in our apartment. We could end up homeless. When I got off the subway the MTA police were there and asked to see my pass. I told them my story. They didn’t care. In fact the officer got confrontational. I even had printed receipts form the kiosks. The officer got in my face and told me that if I didn’t pay I could be arrested. (all over a 1.35)I was able to use an atm to pay the fare. Now my friend later thought the whole thing was unfair. But I told him the law doesn’t care. In fact according to the law I should never got on the subway and just walked home. (this was before Uber) This is why the law is blind.
I keep trying. Every single day to love a little more. TO be kind. It’s not always easy when you are struggling. You are being pulled in a hundred directions. I am hoping to raise money for my gofundme campaign. I want to keep sharing a loving thought each day with the world.
Struggling. Got home late from helping my dad at his house. Every time we touched the plumbing it started leaking. Had to run to Lowes a few times. We fixed each leak. That kind of sums up my life right now. Any time I touch any of my life it seems to be fall apart. I keep putting it back together. Maybe that is what happens when you get old.. Everything starts to fall apart. The only good thing I have going for me is the love of my family. My wife in particular. That woman keeps loving me more each day. I have no idea. I know I don’t deserve it. I can be hard to live with. I am moody. If I don’t finish my projects this year I am really going to be mad at myself.
I am grateful for my wife and kids. They keep me dreaming for a better future. I want to give them a better life. Not a worse one than I had. One thing they have is lots of love. They love their lives. I am the one that puts all the pressure on for more. I want to be more in the moment this year. I don’t want to be caught up in fear. 2017 is going to be great because I am going to make it.
I was so in love I fell on my head but I don’t care because you had my hand.
Trying out some new pencils I got for Christmas. It’s suppose to snow tomorrow. It will be the kids first snow storm. My 12 year old son is really excited. I ran out to the grocery store just in case we get snowed in. Didn’t sleep much last night. Feeling very tired. Had a massive headache most of the day. I may stay up to watch a movie. I just don’t feel like doing anything. My groundme campaign has only gotten 3 backers. I will try to shot some video updates over the weekend. I may replace main video if I can. I would like to try and make something fun. Something people would want to share. I have so much work to do.
The pendulum is swinging. I have gone from happy to sad. The world can be very cold. I think I expect to much. Then I am let down when things don’t live up to that expectation. It isn’t right for me to predetermine that out come. I’m struggling to get by these days. I feel not only the weight of the world but the weight of my family. I feel like I’ve only become a burden on them. No one has said this. It’s all in my head. Last year I had no idea how we would make it through the year. Yet we did. This year I feel the same. It will all work out. I just wish I could get a little encouragement. I thinkI have done some fun work. Does the world need to be reminded of love everyday? I think so. Please if you check out my blog on a regular basis check out my gofundme campaign. I really need the help. Share with your friends if you can’t give.
It was cold, rainy but we fell in love with your streets
in the last 72 hours I have slept less than 8. I’m very tired. The whole family drove to New York City for an audition. I had a screaming headache. It was pouring rain. It was cold. We didn’t have umbrellas. The drive up was actually easy. OI stopped at a redox and the kids watched The secret life of pets. That really helped out. Then we made it to Staton Island with no problem. We did have a little problem parking. Once we found the place it was easy. The guy at the parking garage was helpful. The we took the ferry. I would like to say it was the beginning of the magic spell that lead us to loving New York City.
The subway was a little confusing. The lady in the booth was helpful. She even googled where we were going on her on phone to make sure we were going the right way. The audition went well. Killion who can be a crank dialed up the cute. I couldn’t believe how well he did. It was also the first audition for my nephew. He did ok. We won’t hear about a callback for a few days. I’m hoping for one. Then we had lunch. We did get lucky for a little bit afterwards and it stopped raining. We got to enjoy Times Square. By the time we got to Rockefeller Center it was raining. The wind had kicked up. All the kids got soaked. They then wanted to go home. We will have to go back when the weather is nicer. It was magical seeing all the lights reflecting in the pools of water. I had been on many sets in Los Angeles that were suppose to be New York City. None really do the girl justice. The kids even enjoyed walking around. The wife started noticing peoples shoes. Which made me giddy. She isn’t much of a fashion person. She is mom mode with our four kids all the time it was nice to hear her talking about clothes for herself.
There’s a lot of people in New York city. People didn’t really jump out to help us. Though when we asked everyone was very nice. One lady I thought was going to give us money when she found out we had to take another subway ride because we went the wrong direction. I love city living. New York is the king of cities. At least that’s how I think. I did look over craiglists posting for an apartment today. I was still under the spell. The rent is close to Los Angeles prices. I could see myself living there some day.