Feeling stuck. Not living the life I want to live right now. I need to get off the mat. The terrible thing is I knocked myself down. I have learned a lot about myself in the last few months. One thing I have learned if I don’t have a plan each day my life goes off kilter. Quick. I end up wasting time on social media. I need to focus on finishing projects. Work. Work. Work is going to set my free. Only by completing things will I truly move ahead. I need to self all the ideas that run through my head each day and focus on finishing the one.
Very productive day. Went back to doing a construction job. Got a stairwell at a office building prepped for painting. Took the kids to the pool after work. had fun playing with them. Then I did a youtube video for our new toy channel. Then tried a little mixed media. I thought the heart turned out pretty well. I was doing research online about selling art. The name Kelly Rae Roberts came up. I’m thinking about buying her book for 140 bucks to help my site out.. She has a very nice story. I didn’t start doing art until I was 42. I hope to have may years making art. I would like to make a living doing it. Someday I will make a good living doing art.
This is what happens when you listen to to much Leonard Cohen. My drawings get a darker tone to them. Getting tired of all the rain. It’s been a long day. I painted two rooms at my Dad’s condo. I have 3 more to do. I need to get them done before he starts renting it to summer guests. Only a few weeks left. Ned to spend sometime with the family tomorrow instead of working so much.
I suffer from chronic pain. Some days are better than others. Last night was a whooper. I barely sleep. I’m running on fumes. That little bit of fuel I have comes from those around me that love me each and every day. You never know how much your love actions are keeping a person going. Love someone you just may be saving their life.
Feeling like a pile of debris tonight. Today was one of those days were I keep my head down and do the work. I try to forget who I am for a little while. I try to forget about all my struggles. I need to make some hard decisions so. Life is going by so fast. I just feel no support today. Need to have a drink. Watch something funny and hope for a good night sleep. Maybe tomorrow I will feel more loved.
So bust today i posted something on Instagram and am to busy to see in anyone like it. I wish it was for fun reason but no just work. Plus tired. Haven’t been sleeping well again. Need to get some sleep. My kids did make me laugh with their protests about going back to school tomorrow. The have really been enjoying their break.
Everything is wrong with this years Valentine. I am flat broke. I have a migraine. The wife is at work. I am trying to take care of the kids while only being able to open one eye. They are beefing good though. That has really helped tonight. I hope to the end the night on a positive note. This year’s Valentine’s is blue, I need to turn this boat around before it’s to late.
Today was one of those days that sucked the motivation right out of me. I used it as a excuse to not work on my book. I need to finish the book. I need to fight the resistance. I can’t let it get the better of me. I don’t want to be controlled by my fear of success. Tomorrow I need to take control of my day.
Crazy day. Locked down my book. Now on to the art work. Already plotted out half of the book. Can’t wait to finish. I set up a new gofundme campaign for a fun birthday bash for my son who is turning 3. We want to throw a crazy potato chip party. I hope people share it. If we get more than we are asking he would get some presents. I keep working. Nothing is going to sideline my projects this year except myself.
Sunday is family day. I am always lucky to get a drawing done. I usually don’t set an alarm clock to get up but tomorrow I am going to need it. WE have a been fighting colds. I am happy to have work coming up soon. The wife is working. Even if out is only part time. I came very close to finishing my rewrite of the kids book I have been working on. Very happy. Need to twerk a couple of pages than I can lock it. Next step plotting out the art work. Very excited to finish my first kids book. It deals with bullying. I hope it can make a difference in kids lives. Ok need to hit the hay. Keep loving. It’s the strongest weapon against hate.
In four months I will be married 23 years. It seems like only yesterday. I still want to chase her around the room but all those kids we have get in the way now. I can’t imagine a life without her. She still annoys me. I love to bug her. We have made some beautiful children. I can’t imagine this world without them. Every single day I love seeing their smiles. Today has been a long day. I am very tired. My throat hurts. I think I’m a little sick. Need to get to sleep but I am waiting for my wife to come back to the bedroom. Need a little snuggle time before bed.